Hey pal!
Author: Wilma Luimes
Genre: Non fiction, Christian living, Psychology/Relationships, Marriage.
Rating:
Length: 295 pages
Publisher: self published
Author: Wilma Luimes
Genre: Non fiction, Christian living, Psychology/Relationships, Marriage.
Rating:
Length: 295 pages
Publisher: self published
Ok .So this is a memoir. It is Wilma’s personal story about her marriage. How it began and how it ended.
It highlights the differences between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship. She tackles the following questions, How much hurt is enough hurt?, Does God love marriage more than the individual? and Does God hate divorce?
More often than not, unhealthy relationships were once good and enjoyable. Then it began with one bruise, one compromise and one incident that slowly began forming a pattern of unhealthy behavior. Emotionally and physically.
This book is for someone who wants to scream ‘finally, someone who understands me!’ as they turn one page after another.
And if you’re simply a curious reader, its for you too!
Below I’ll share some of my favorite quotes in the book and my thoughts on it for some.
Quote 1:
Ok , so this is a memoir. It is Wilma’s personal story about her marriage. How it began and how it ended.
It highlights the differences between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship. She tackles the following questions, How much hurt is enough hurt?, Does God love marriage more than the individual? and Does God hate divorce?
More often than not, unhealthy relationships were once good and enjoyable. Then it began with one bruise, one compromise and one incident that slowly began forming a pattern of unhealthy behavior. Emotionally and physically.
This book is for someone who wants to scream ‘finally, someone who understands me!’ as they turn one page after another.
And if you’re simply a curious reader, its for you too!
Below I’ll share some of my favorite quotes in the book and my thoughts on it for some.
Quote 1:
“
Ignorance gives you an excuse not to change anything
My thoughts: Ignorance can become a comfort zone because knowledge brings responsibility. Once you have the knowledge that your actions are harmful to another person’s wellbeing. You become responsible. Not for their reaction, but for your actions. And i think a part of us would like to stay in the ignorance zone because change demands we confront ourselves.
Quote 2:
Quote 2:
“
He would tell me that he loved me, but I didn’t feel loved. To his friends he would say he was proud of his wife, but I sure wasn’t experiencing any benefits of that pride at home. My emotions had become a roller coaster ride. One day things were looking up and the next day they would crash. I tried desperately to keep things from crashing, but they seemed out of control.
Thoughts: lol this is what being in a toxic relationship looks like. Confusion.
Quote 3:
Thoughts: lol this is what being in a toxic relationship looks like. Confusion.
Quote 3:
“
if we don’t learn from our mistakes, we tend to repeat them. Studies show that people tend to make the same choice of partner again and again, which is why psychological history has a habit of repeating itself.
Quote 4:
Quote 4:
My thoughts: The default reaction for most of us ,is to react according to what we already know.
Anything outside the bounds of our knowledge. We don’t know how to act in that way because we don’t know.
For example when i am stressed. I obsess over the stress. That’s all I think about and that’s all I speak about. Until I learn healthier ways to process stress. I will naturally keep returning to the patterns that are familiar with me.
Similarly if someone is used to shout when they are angry. They will not suddenly be calm when they are involved in a relationship with you because that’s not what they are used to.
This idea stems from the belief that people usually respond according to their level of awareness, experience, emotional intelligence and upbringing.
“
You should never expect someone to do better than what they know.
My thoughts: The default reaction for most of us ,is to react according to what we already know.
Anything outside the bounds of our knowledge. We don’t know how to act in that way because we don’t know.
For example when i am stressed. I obsess over the stress. That’s all I think about and that’s all I speak about. Until I learn healthier ways to process stress. I will naturally keep returning to the patterns that are familiar with me.
Similarly if someone is used to shout when they are angry. They will not suddenly be calm when they are involved in a relationship with you because that’s not what they are used to.
This idea stems from the belief that people usually respond according to their level of awareness, experience, emotional intelligence and upbringing.
Quote 5:
Quote 5:
“
When we know better, we do better, and its in knowing better that is key to changing the way families and society function. There are many people out there who are looking for love but have never found it. This is usually the result of them having learned to cope in relationships characterized by blurred boundaries. Blurred boundaries result in confusion and hurt. In order to find something, it is important to know what you are looking for.
Quote 6:
Quote 6:
“
Unfortunately, we live in a society where our value is not determined in relation to our humanity, who we are and what we stand for, but in relation to an external ‘worth’ which is a reflection of what others see themselves getting out of us: money, power, access, opportunity, sex. If this how a person measures their internal worth, even their self perception is subject to the opinions of others.
My thoughts: We are always at the mercy of people once we place our value in their hands. If people can dictate your importance in society, they own you. Once people do not have access to your external worth(examples mentioned in the quote above). They will change their perspective of you.
Quote 7:
My thoughts: We are always at the mercy of people once we place our value in their hands. If people can dictate your importance in society, they own you. Once people do not have access to your external worth(examples mentioned in the quote above). They will change their perspective of you.
Quote 7:
“
Relationships should be formed with a vision and mission in mind because an understanding of what is intended from an alliance is key to determining the boundaries and functioning (or set of expectations) of the parties involved.
Quote 8:
Quote 8:
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When children are put in positions that force them to take responsibility for adult behavior ,we deny them a childhood.
Quote 9:
Quote 9:
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Life puts people in circumstances where their choices are no longer obvious. Pain makes people do things that they normally would not do.
Quote 10:
Quote 10:
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Desperation pushes people outside of what they might do under ordinary circumstances. this hardly constitutes choice. Circumstances can make you forget who you are or who you would like to be. Don’t judge someone if you have not walked in their shoes.
My thoughts: The practice of grace
My thoughts: The practice of grace
Quote 11:
Quote 11:
“
God’s plan for your life does not follow someone else’s formula, or even your formula, of how God should act.
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