HOW TO BUILD and DEEPEN OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

I have 5 ways on how to build and deepen our relationship with GOD.

Most of us have a Christian checklist that we follow through. Its either a to do list written on paper for our morning routine or its a to do list we automatically run through in our heads.

The checklist:

Wake up at 5am to pray and read the Bible (tick)
Listen to gospel music (tick)
Learn a chapter by heart (tick)
Be a good girl and avoid conflict today (tick)

Ok ,the last one was for me .
There is nothing wrong with this list. At. All. We ought not to however, limit our communication with the Lord to only be in the morning. A checklist has the ability to convince us that we have achieved and accomplished. And we end up measuring our relationship with God by how many days of the week we have studied his word and remembered all the scripture. Speaking about God becomes from a place of reference and not of knowledge.

Going beyond the Christian checklist means still maintaining communication and an interaction with God even after our 5 am devotions and prayers. It means that whilst we’re driving or doing some activity of that day, we are still finding in our hearts a set moment and time to communicate with God. It is allowing the presence and guidance of God to be interwoven in the next second, minute and hour after the checklist. Even after we have done so in the morning during our 5am devotions and prayers.
I’ll be honest ,this sometimes is really difficult to embed in my busy schedule or when I feel like the only place my prayers are reaching is the ceiling.

But what if we can just try to maintain consistent communication with him. [1Thess 5:17]

2.BE HONEST  

  Starve a relationship with honesty and you deprive it of the very oxygen it needs for survival. Honesty is a requisite of all relationships. 
Let’s take a look at the following scriptures , shall we? Yes lovely : 

|Psalm 142:2: I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles|  
 

the complaints and troubles>>>>>

|Psalm 42:5 : I will say to God, my rock, why have you forgotten me? Why must I go in sorrow because of my enemy’s oppression’|

 
David was honest. The whole book of Psalms is a record of it all. The doubts . The cries. The questions.

A part of the reason why I sometimes find myself not being honest with God is an assumption of how he might react to my honesty. I imagine that he’ll be shocked at what lies in the depths of my heart and therefore withhold his blessings. So I don’t tell him the reason why I want certain things. The car. The job. The money.

And maybe you are like me.

We end up presenting to God a persona and not a person . A person who feels disappointed, who feels wronged ,who has sinned, who feels like the situation that happened with so and so was so unfair. we choose the route of either ignoring God or stick to our checklist because at list they account for something in our relationship with God.
 
But God wants to know exactly how you feel about that particular situation you’re so choosing to hide from him. He wants you to completely say exactly what is in your heart. Raw and unfiltered as it is. This honesty is not only limited to when we are faced with disappointments in life, or when we sin. It is also when we don’t know how to pray and we don’t understand scripture. It is also when feel tired to continue our journey with God. Tell him exactly that.  Don’t pretend to know it all with God, be honest. Tell him exactly how you feel.  
David did that. He was honest in every single outcry he made to the Lord yet he never undermined the sovereignty of the Father.  
Honesty does not mean being disrespectful. It means being able to state your case whilst being respectful to God. 
 
That’s how we build a relationship , by being honest. 
 

3. START WHERE YOU ARE  

If it has been long since the last time you read your Bible or you’re struggling to maintain your relationship with God. Start where you are. 

 The moment you realize that you have been slacking with God, don’t sprint into it and make unrealistic goals of reading 5 chapters a day when you were failing to read 1 chapter in the past. Why?

Because unrealistic expectations = unmet expectations.  

Rather start small. Start where you are.

If you are already in the bus/car/train whichever vehicle or journey you’re embarking on and you remember you have missed your morning prayer session, Pray there! Pray where you are. If Its 3pm and you remember you forgot to pray  in the morning. Pray then. Right where you are.

Same principle with studying the Bible. You do not need a perfect moment to resume your study of the word. You can start at 1pm whilst you’re standing in the bank queue. What matters is that you begin.

With time it will become a seamless habit from praying in the car to praying in the morning and praying daily. God is not only at church, he is right where you are. Not to say you need to stop attending church because ‘God is at home too’ , but your relationship with God is not a schedule to keep but a relationship to maintain.  

4. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT, BUT BE INTENTIONAL 

|Luke 5:16 ‘but Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer| 
 
|Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. ‘Mark 1:35 | 
 
|After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.  Matthew 14:23| 
 
The scriptures show one common theme. Intentionality.(and also prayer). Jesus was intentional about spending time with God. He ‘often withdrew‘ , ‘he got up and went‘ , ‘he went up into the hills’. Now the words in bold are all verbs. And a  verb is a doing word. Which translates to: Jesus made a conscious effort to pray. He created the time and the environment to pray. He set aside time within his busy schedule to pray.  
 
Jesus was busy too, moving from one town to the next spreading the gospel and healing the sick. He was busy! But he was intentional in setting aside time to pray . To- build-a-relationship.  
He was intentional. 
 
And pal, let me be honest. Life can really get busy : with an assignment deadline to meet. Two toddlers screaming and shouting in the house. One has lost their shoe and the older sister is crying because she has been slapped by the younger one. A  9-5 job. A hustling one. A business. Work pressure. A family to take care of. The bills. Trying to make ends meet whilst surviving from paycheck to paycheck. This is how busy and stressful life can be.  

But, Intentionality does not mean discarding life demands and having a ‘do nothing’ day . Intentionality means setting aside time within the busy day to spend time with the Lord. 
 

5. SPEND TIME WITH HIM  

 
It goes without saying that the best way to get to know someone is by spending time with them. You know your friend’s favorite color is brown  because she mentioned it or implied it in one of your conversations. So you gift them something brown when its their birthday. You understand   your friend’s biggest traumas because you once spent 7hours talking through them together. And you  still continue making time for those conversations.  
 
 You know your partner loves flowers so when you want to apologize you buy her flowers . Or you gift her  often. Because somewhere along the lines you got to learn of her love language. You also  know your partner can come across as rude when their tired,  so you avoid initiating important conversations when they are in that state.  
 
This is what spending time with someone looks like. Listening, caring, understanding, remembering , noticing patterns.  
 
Let’s look at the verse below:  
|James 4:8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.| 
 
There’s a condition. In order for God to come closer to me and you , we should come closer to him first. That means we take the first step by creating the environment. Studying his word were we get to learn his patterns of love and grace. Through studying the Bible, the character of God is revealed one passage at a time and one verse at a time. And through this we get to know of his other attributes that are not limited to being a provider.  
 
That’s it pal!.  I hope as you’re embarking on this journey ,you remember that building a relationship with God is not a goal to achieve. It’s a journey we walk on. Some days the journey will be easy and other times we might find ourselves being stuck , frustrated and feel like we are on this journey on our own. On those days remember : you can always be honest with God and tell him how you are finding the journey difficult and trust him to meet you right where you are.  
 
Pray with me : 
Dear God ,I come before your throne of grace and mercy . I would like to thank you for the gift of life and the mercies you shower on us daily. Create in me a clean heart O Lord .  As I make efforts to draw closer to you as James 4:8 says , I ask that the holy spirit overpower my own strength when I feel frustrated and stuck.  Help me to go beyond the Christian checklist, to remember to start where I am and be honest when I feel like the journey is becoming burdensome. Help me know you more . AMEN.